Museo de jamón

Quick story:

When I was in elementary school, my dad packed my lunches. He apparently had no concept of appropriate portions for young children, so as an eight-year-old, I ate two-inch-thick turkey sandwiches and plastic bags loaded to the point of stretching with animal crackers for lunch. To say I was lethargic in afternoon lessons is a massive understatement. I laid my head down on the desk and silently sang spirituals about my gastroenterological woes:

"Waaaaaiiit for your waaaaatttle
waaaaiiit for your wat-tle chil-dren
waaaaiiit for your waaaaatttle
God's gonna give you a waaaaatttle"

Thanks to a highly active thyroid, I survived through my teenage years without getting fat. Of course, it's all starting to catch up to me now. Yeah spare tire!